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You Know Times are Tough When.....

By: Simon Booth On: 01:17:00
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  • Tough_Times

     
    •  My Neighbour got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
    • Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can’t afford batteries.
    • CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.
    • Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
    • A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.
    • If the bank returns your check marked “Insufficient Funds,” you call them and ask if they meant you or them.
    • McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
    • Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.
    • Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s names.
    • My cousin had an exorcism but couldn’t afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!
    • A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
    • A picture is now only worth 200 words.
    • When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.
    • The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.
    And, finally….
    I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call centre in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.

    Times Are Tough

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